Creating Your Own Rules for Life

At some point in your adulthood, you’ll either consciously make your own rules for life, or realize that you’ve unconsciously made them, or, someone has made them for you. In my opinion, claiming ownership of your life is an essential part to feeling both happy and comfortable in your life. One way to do that is to make your own rules for living well. Here are some steps you could take to begin to do this intentionally.

Reflection: what “rules” or expectations have you been holding onto that have been hurting you, or you’ve found don’t actually really mean anything to you?

Inventory: take stock of various areas of your life: family, friendships & relationships, money & finances, health & fitness, creativity, career, etc. Dig into what you find most important in each area. Which relationships matter the most? Do you feel like you need to use social media? Does having a high-paying job really matter to you or would you prefer less money and more freedom? How can you spend time with family in a way that’s most meaningful to you?

Reconstruction: what do you want your life to feel like? What frameworks do you need to set up in your life to make it feel that way, even if it’s only in some areas? For example, do you need to leave or mute a group chat that stresses you out? Would you like to work out through taking long walks instead of going to the gym?

Reflection: how does your “new” life feel? Now that you’ve tried something new, or removed something old, do you like it? Do the changes make your life better, or more yours?

I think the bottom line here is to think about your life. Let go of some things that have no place in your life. Embrace new things that you’re interested in that nobody else in your life has tried. Define yourself. Be the most you.

Tips for Applying to New Roles

It’s the beginning of a new year, and maybe this is the year that you’ve put “get a new job” on your to-do list. If this is you, or you’re just curious about improving your getting hired process, here are some tips for applying to new roles, which fall under two big categories: using your network, and following up.

Use Your Network

Yes, you have a network. If you’re very fortunate, you’re surrounded by people who can be helpful and useful to you in a job search. If you’re less naturally lucky, you can build a network of people who can be helpful and useful to you in a job search. You’d be surprised at how willing people are to help you in your endeavors, just ‘cause.

• Tell people you are looking for a new role: Of course you should be cautious with how (if) you mention this to your boss or current co-workers, but definitely everyone else in your life should know that you’re potentially interested in something new. Better still if they have an idea of the type of position you’re interested in.

• Ask for help: You should have friends/family/professional contacts look over your resume and offer feedback on clarity, organization, and spelling/grammar/typos. Schedule mock interviews or practice job talks — chances are, your current institution, or alma mater, or professional society offers this for free!

• Find your “in”: If a friend, or a friend of a friend works at a place, or in a role that you’re looking at, reach out to them. Ask if they’re willing to chat at the very least, and if they can offer a referral at the very most.

Follow-up

This is such an under-rated way to set you apart in the job search process. People are so wrapped up in everything that they’re trying to accomplish that they overlook the small actions that can help them stand out.

• Do your due diligence: If you’re getting an employee referral, send the person who referred you a note once you’ve submitted your application. If you’ve applied for a position through your network and you have an email for the hiring manager, send them an email to let you know that you’ve applied for the job, and to reiterate your interest in the role. This will likely prompt them to take a closer look at your application than they normally would, and perhaps sooner than they might have otherwise.

• Send thank-you notes: Express gratitude to those who have given you their time throughout the process. This could include someone who referred you, someone you interviewed with, or someone who helped you prepare. It could be as simple as a note via email, or as elaborate as a gift (especially if someone in your network did a lot to help you out!)

Job searching is stressful, so take it slowly, and don’t be frustrated when companies ghost you, or you don’t get a position that you were really excited about, or if you find it’s taking a long time to land something. Sometimes it takes a while, but also make sure you are tweaking your strategy and asking for feedback where possible to make sure that the institutions that you are applying to are seeing the best version of you.

January Reading List

The vibe is…New Year, New Me?

• Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

• How Far You Have Come by Morgan Harper Nichols

• Heart Talk by Cleo Wade

• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

• Bingo Love by Tee Franklin

• To Be Young, Gifted and Black by Lorraine Hansberry

• Binti by Nnedi Okorafor

Find the complete list at Bookshop.

It’s a new year! As 2024 begins, you might be tempted to become a new person. You don’t have to do this, but if you’re interested in potentially growing in various areas of your life, these books might give you some perspective on what it means to have the courage to change your life.

In my science fiction novella pick, we meet the titular Binti, a brilliant young woman who must leave everything she’s every known to explore that brilliance at a university where she will be an outsider. However, her uniqueness ends up saving the day, and her groundedness in her own identity helps her to make it through. In the classic Their Eyes Were Watching God, a slightly older (than Binti) Janie, isn’t afraid to take risks in life and love to have the life that she really wants. May she inspire you to do the same through her journey. And in case you might think that’s it’s too late to go after whatever you really want, graphic novel Bingo Love tells the story of two lovers who are reunited after fifty years apart. It’s never too late to choose the life you really want.

If you’re looking for words to sit with for a while, Morgan Harper Nichols and Cleo Wade offer many short pieces of writing — poetry and essays and more — for you to chew on as you reflect on your own life and where you want to be. Similarly, Lorraine Hansberry’s essays and snippets of writing will inspire you to embrace the fullness of your brilliance as you try to navigate this life. And when you’re ready to do some self-work, The Gifts of Imperfection is a great place to start.

Happy reading!

The Longest Night

This week (on Dec 21, to be exact) is the winter solstice, which marks the official beginning of winter, as well as the shortest day of the year in the Northern hemisphere. This makes that night the longest night of the year. A few churches that I have attended have a special service called the Longest Night Service, to hold space for people grappling with darkness of all kinds during the busyness and bright lights of the holiday season. This week's post is inviting you to do the same.

On the longest night of the year, I want to remind you that the darkness is not forever. Our grief does not go away, but we grow and change around it, and it becomes less overwhelming.

On the longest night of the year, I want to remind you that there are corners where the festivities have not reached. It's okay if you sit in one for a few minutes, to catch your breath and come back to yourself as the holidays try to carry you away.

On the longest night of the year, I want to remind you that the darkness that you feel will not always be this deep and this dark. As the days become longer, the nights grow shorter. There will be days when the darkness doesn't seem to come at all. Take joy in those days.

There will be space for sun again, even when the night seems neverending.

A Meditation for the Busy Holiday Season

The holidays tend to be super busy, with all the end of semester/year work, and events, and travel. It can be overwhelming trying to do all of these things and also somehow be filled with holiday cheer, and a functioning adult too. Here’s a meditation for the busy holiday season for you to slowly read through and chew on over the next few weeks.

As busyness calls from every corner of my life, I am stopping to take a deep breath, and remember the people and the things that are actually important.

I smile, thinking about how deeply I love my loved ones, both those still on this earth, and those who are already gone.

I pause to feel the sadness of the people that I am missing in this season, for whatever reason. This feeling of grief and loss is a reminder of how important they are to me.

I revel in the beauty of this time of year: the colors and sights and sounds. The special moments to be found in looking at the lights and decorations. I take time to use my child’s eyes to see the wonder of the holiday season.

I let go of the need for the holidays to be perfect. Perfection is not the standard for things to be meaningful. I will remember that this season should bring me joy, not stress and strain. I do not have to attend every event or concert or party.

I can make merry in small ways.

December Reading List

Some of my Favorite Reads of 2023!

This month’s reading list is a bit different because it’s just books I loved from this year! I haven’t been reading that much recently, but I do have a few books that I read and loved.

• Scorched Grace by Margot Douiahy
  Chain-smoking nun solves crime

• How to Say Babylon by Safiya Sinclair
  A memoir by a former Rastafarian from her unconventional childhood through early adulthood

• “You Just Need to Lose Weight” & 19 Other Myths About Fat People by Aubrey Gordon
  A collection of essays tackling the pervasive fatphobia of American culture

• Drama Free by Nedra Glover Tawwab
  Your guide to creating and maintaining healthy family relationships

• Milk, Blood, Heat by Dantiel Moniz
  A collection of short stories that scrape away the façade of mundane life

• The Song of the Cell by Siddhartha Mukherjee
  An epic non-fiction book chronicling everything we know about the cell and how we came to know it

• How not to Drown in a Glass of Water by Angie Cruz
  A story about motherhood, gentrification and immigration told through a series of interviews

Full list available on Bookshop.

Also, here are some books released this year that I’m excited to pick up soon!

• Happiness Falls by Angie Kim

• I Feed her to the Beast and the Beast is Me by Jamison Shea

• Temple Folk by Aaliyah Bilal

• Soil by Camille T Dungy

• Rootless by Krystle Zara Appiah

It’s New Planner Season!

In case you didn't know, I am a planner girl. My life is significantly more together when I have a good planner in my life. If you're a planner girlie (girlie being a gender-neutral term in this instance), it's our time! Tis the season to choose your 2024 calendar year planner! I've been very intentional about choosing a planner to meet my needs over the past few years and I have some lovely recommendations for you.

But first, for those of you who might be on the fence about having a planner, here are some ways that I use my planner:

• Managing my calendar: having to write things down, helps me to remember them, and seeing my appointments in one physical space helps me realize when I'm becoming overscheduled.

• Keeping a to-do list by week: putting my to-do list into the week helps me plan out the week, and reflect on how effective I was in getting something done. For example, if I notice that I've put the same item on my list for three weeks in a row, I'll start to ask myself questions about it. Why am I putting it off? Is this important? Can I delegate this?

• Keeping track of important bits of information: Confirmation numbers, phone numbers, addresses, catalog numbers? I will lose those in a digital notes app, but keeping them in my planner works for me.

Now, onto the recommendations! I have loved my planner each year, and for the past few years my planners have all come from Black woman-owned companies, which is an added bonus for me.

In 2022, my planner was The Layered Living Planner from HerSpaceCo. Simple and clean, this planner has twelve "layers" which are different areas in your life that you set goals for and focus on throughout the year. I really liked this process, and that there are quarterly check-ins to see how you are doing in each of the layers. It doesn't have a monthly goal-setting/dates page, which I kinda missed, but I use the monthly calendar for that instead. It's a bit bigger , and the space to write in each day is unlined, which really helps the space feel much bigger

In 2023, I’ve been using the Book'd Deluxe planner! This planner is a lot, and I thought it might have too much "stuff" for me, but it actually encompasses all the pieces of planning and reflection that I would like to have, and I have a whole page for every week day, and half a page for Saturday/Sunday. I really liked having a ton of space to write everything in, and the large size of the pages. They have five different planners for your various needs, so if you’re not looking for such a large planner you can try one of the other ones, including a digital one! Coupon Code for 10% off: PLANNINGWITHSHANIQUE

For 2024, I’ve ordered Ivory Paper Co’s Vertical Weekly Planner. I’ve realized that I kinda like being able to see the whole week at once, and the vertical layout makes it feel more spacious. I really like that there are note pages at the end of each week too, so I have room for planning/reflection. I’m also excited about the weekly goals, habit trackers, and gratitude box. This brand is really big on gratitude so, they incorporate it into all of their products. One great thing about Ivory Paper Co is that the planners are made to order, so they can start whenever you’d like them to!

Reflections for a Grateful Heart

It’s Thanksgiving Week here in the US, so let’s take some time for a gratitude check-in.

• What are you grateful for this week?

• What has happened in the past year that’s got you full of gratitude?

• Are there any hard lessons that you’ve had recently that you’re grateful for?

• Who are you grateful to have in your life?

• Who (if anyone) are you grateful to not have in your life anymore?

• Have you had any surprising joys recently that you’re grateful for?

Networking for Introverts

Introverts are the best at making real connections with people, but networking can seem super-intimidating. Being schmoozy and sociable as the goal for an event is enough to strike fear in our hearts and keep us in the corner near the food table. But never fear, there is a way to network that makes it a bit less daunting for introverts. Here’s my caveat though, this advice is great for people who are drained by big social situations, but isn’t quite designed for people with social anxiety, although you might find it helpful anyways!

Have a goal. Your goal can be, have at least a five-minute conversation with three people at an event, or go to six networking events per year, or add ten new contact on LinkedIn per quarter. Make it something that’s attainable with a bit of effort, so that when you get to your goal, you can call it quits and go home.

Set a time limit. It can be as short as you want: “I’m going to say hello to my coworkers and then go home” or “I’m staying for an hour” are perfectly fine limits for an event. One that I’ve used for longer events (like a conference or symposium) is something like, “I’ll stay until my phone goes into battery save mode” (at 15% battery) because at that point, either I’ve been having such a good time that I’ve been out almost all day, or I’ve been in the corner on my phone so much that I may as well leave.

Find an “in.” One easy in is to volunteer at the event. That way you can consider talking to people as part of your duties: “Are you having a good time?” “Can I help you find anything?” Or, you could just have a question that you ask each person you come across: “Your nametag says you work at this company. What’s your favorite thing about your role there?” “Hi, my name is Jane, and I’m interested in x field. What brings you to this event?”

Networking is really just a fancy word for getting to know people in a (mostly) professional setting, and can be really helpful in making connections with others, giving you a wide range of people you can call on as things arise, whether that’s looking for opportunities for yourself, or finding the right people for a job, or getting more information on a particular field.

November Reading List

These books might change your life…again

• Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

• The Power by Naomi Alderman

• The Secret Lives of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw

• Die with Zero by Bill Perkins

• Wintering by Katherine May

• The Deepest Well by Nadine Burke Harris

• The Deep by Rivers Solomon

Find the complete list at Bookshop.

This month’s reading list returns to the theme from March’s reading list, with even more books that might shift some aspect of your life. These picks are varied and unique, spanning both fiction and non-fiction and a variety of topics, but the thing drawing them all together is that each other explores something foundational to our being as humans, and might cause you to approach your own life with new eyes after reading them.

Happy reading!

Fall Check-in

Fall has just begun, and I feel myself winding down as the days get shorter. This might be a good time to do some checking in with yourself, seeing where you are before we plunge headlong into the busyness of the end of the year. Here are some things to reflect on in this season.

• How are you doing? Not superficially, but really, deep within yourself.

• What have you noticed about yourself as the year has progressed?

• How are you feeling about the goals you set for the year? Were they realistic? Are you on track to achieve them?

• What do you want to be different about your life in these last few months of the year?

• What has been bringing you joy recently?

• What are you looking forward to? (Go as far into the future as you would like!)

• What’s on your list for the best thing you’ve read this year?

• What’s your favorite thing about this season of your life?

Building New Habits

If you randomly asked me, I’d tell you that I’m horrible at building habits. This is not actually true, however. What I’m bad at the mindlessly repeating actions day after day. But when it’s something that I’ve established as being meaningful to me, for whatever reason, I can build new habits. Here I’m sharing with you some of the tools and tricks that I use to build new habits.

Routines. I use routines to build multiple new habits at the same time. Usually I pair small things together so that the prospect of doing them doesn’t become too daunting. One example of this is that I wanted to change my workouts to be in the morning, and also drink more water, and remember to take my vitamins. So all of these became part of my morning routine. I set my alarm for about thirty minutes earlier, and picked a 30-minute or less series of workout videos to do. This way, it’s not too time consuming, and I also don’t have to make any decisions in the morning, just watch the next video.

Stacking. In order to build a new habit, I sometime stack it on top of an established habit, to make it easier to remember to do the new thing. When I turned 30 I wanted to start a skincare routine, so I made it a part of brushing my teeth, washing my face before brushing, and then moisturizing it after.

Simplicity. This has been a major key for me, to keep new habits that I’m trying to establish consistent. If it’s too complicated or requires too much new effort, the habit becomes a burden and I’m less likely to do it.

Taking Time to Reflect

I’m a big fan of taking time to pause and reflect on life every so often, just to remind myself of where I am, where I came from, and where I hope to be. I use different (somewhat arbitrary) timepoints to reflect, sometimes formally, and sometimes informally. The important part is making the time and space to pause for a moment and take stock of where I am.

Here are some points in life where you could choose to reflect:

• Beginning/end of the year

• Your birthday

• Beginning/end of every quarter (or season) of the year

• Beginning/end of the semester

• Life transitions: graduation, new job, promotions, layoffs, etc

The next thing you might be wondering is how to reflect? I have some ideas for activities you could do as a means of reflection, such as:

• Re-reading old journal entries

• Write yourself a letter/read a letter you wrote to yourself (I got this from my friend Brianna Kristelle who does this at the end of every calendar year)

• Take a look at the goals that you’ve set and make note of your progress

• Doing a formal reflection activity such as Hello Goodbye, Year Compass, etc

• Going through your camera roll from a specific time period to see what you found important to capture

When do you reflect? What do you do to reflect on things?

September Reading List

These Books Might Change Your Finances

• Get Good with Money - Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche

• The Afrominimalist’s Guide to Living with Less - Christine Platt

• We Should All be Millionaires - Rachel Rodgers

• Women with Money - Jean Chatzky

• Financial Feminist - Tori Dunlap

• Pound Foolish - Helaine Olen

• The Year of Less - Cait Flanders

Lists available on Amazon or Bookshop.

This month’s reading list is all about your finances. As usual, there are many many books I could have put on this list, but the point of the list is to give you somewhere to start, not to be an exhaustive catalog of books. Speaking of starting, Get Good with Money is the perfect place to get started on your journey to getting your money together. The Budgetnista gives us ten steps to financial wholeness, at the end of which you have the foundation of a healthy financial life.

If you’re a woman, chances are the only advice you’ve received is to shop less, and save more. Financial Feminist and Women with money both go beyond this advice to talk about the unique challenges that women might face when it comes to money, including an unarticulated fear of having it.

There are also some books here about the life you live with the money you have. In We Should All Be Millionaires, Rachel Rodgers talks about figuring out how much the life you want to live would cost, and designing a life to match that desire. On the other hand, maybe your best life means having less. In that case, the Afrominimalist’s Guide to Living with Less, and the Year of Less are a good place to start, with helping you examine what your priorities really are in terms of how you spend your money and accumulate (or get rid of) things.

In Pound Foolish, Helaine Olen reminds us to approach all advice from financial gurus with caution, and I’m passing that caution on to you. All advice is not advice for you, and you should be wary of anyone trying to give blanket advice to you.

Some Thoughts on Gift-giving

I have very specific (and apparently somewhat controversial?) thoughts about gift giving. Here’s something for you to think about as you navigate gift-giving throughout your life.

My philosophy on gift-giving is simple: gifts should make the receiver's life better (and not make the giver's life worse, obviously).

As such, a gift should be at least one of the following:

• Something the recipient likes.

• Something the recipient wants.

• Something the recipient finds useful.

• Something the recipient finds meaningful.

  This could be a thing or an experience, and doesn't limit what a gift should be. In fact, it broadens the definition of what is a gift to be determined entirely by the answer to the question: who is this gift for? It certainly doesn't dictate what a gift should cost. Except for people driven entirely by monetary value, most people find a thoughtful $15 gift better than a $1500 gift that is nothing but expensive.

The point here is, gift-giving should be about what the recipient wants, and not about what the giver wants them to have. I think we’ve taken “it’s the thought that counts” too far and think that somebody should be grateful that someone gave them something, even if it’s something that they do not like. This goes back to a scarcity mindset. We should not have a “take whatever you can get” attitude about gifts, of all things. The act of gift-giving should be about abundance!

Bet on Yourself

Here’s a reminder to bet on yourself. Take the risk. Go out on the limb. Insert additional metaphors about taking risks here. I think a lot of the time, we’re waiting (hoping?) for someone to see the potential in us and validate that potential by taking a risk on us. That’s wonderful when it happens, but I’m challenging you to see your own potential, and act accordingly.

I have some ideas for how you could bet on yourself, if you’re wondering how. Here are some thoughts:

Develop a new skill that compliments something you already do well. Maybe you’re a singer, so you take an acting class to learn better stage presence as a performer, or how to expand your performance into theatre. Chances are, if there’s something you do really well, you have an idea of something that you can learn to do that will enhance your opportunities to use that skill. One way to bet on yourself is by expanding your horizons.

Attempt to do something that you’ve only dreamed about. Instead of waiting for someone to hand you your dream, what if you validated its possibility by taking the chance to achieve it? Maybe your dream is to write a book, and you start outlining the book you want to write, or take a writing class as the first step. You don’t have to have a 7-step plan to achieving your dream, but if you stay ready for things to happen, you won’t have to get ready when the opportunity comes around. Or perhaps, you have to create your own opportunity!

Drill down to focusing on one thing that that you are great at. This speaks to what is your “zone of genius” (per Gay Talbert’s The Big Leap). Sometimes we play it safe by trying to do everything that we are good at, without taking the risk to truly excel at one specific thing. What would happen if you took some time to focus on a single thing instead, even if it’s for a specific time period?

Don’t Be Afraid of Getting Older

I’ve been thinking a bit about what it means to be getting older. I’m looking forward to what my life will bring, and embracing all of the things that come to me as I age. One thing I’ve noticed is that so many people are afraid of aging. I’m not even talking about those who are nearing the end of their lives, in the sixties or seventies, or eighties, but people who think they will be old when they are 25, or 30. I’ve been struck several times by the cognitive dissonance of my feelings about aging being at odds with how society tells me how I should feel.

Having passed both 25 and 30 some time ago, I can promise you, that you are not old. Your life is not over at thirty. You youth isn’t even over then. For many of us, thirty is not even the halfway point of our lives. At twenty-five we haven’t yet fully learned or embraced our power. There will be so many more fun times and memorable moments in the rest of your life, those memories are not limited to being formed in your teens and twenties. And by the way, the people that you think have it all together, so many of them don’t, and a lot of them aren’t even aware of how clueless they are. The way we place such value on youth will push you to try to live your life in fast forward, please don’t let it.

Life is long. Don’t try to live all of it at once. Don’t let these x under x lists have you thinking that you are a failure because at 23 you haven’t yet started a business, or gotten a job with a six-figure salary. Baby girl, at 23 your brain isn’t even fully developed yet. You are not meant to reach all of your goals in the first decade of adulthood. Embrace the achievements of your life so far, and I promise you, that there is more for you as you age. It is a blessing to age, never forget that.

Get You a Hobby

I’ma say it right here: you should have a hobby. At least one. Not a side hustle, not a part-time job, a real hobby. Something that you do only for your own enjoyment and no other reason. It doesn’t have to be practical, you just have to like doing it enough to allow this hobby to take you outside the daily grind of life.

Why should you have a hobby?
Hobbies are a chance to do something imperfectly, because your livelihood does not depend on it. As adults especially, we rarely have chances to do things that are not objectively good, they’re just our best efforts. However, trying (and failing) at something inconsequential is a great way to help ground you.

On the other hand, it’s also great to see yourself improve at something that you do consistently, just for yourself. You’re not getting better at it for financial gain, but just because you enjoy your hobby, and you keep at it. What a delight when you finally nail that turn, or finish that sweater, or master that tricky musical passage!

What counts as a hobby?
Anything that you do only for your own enjoyment, and not as a means to make money or learn skills that are directly applicable to your career. Examples include:

• Performing arts: singing, dance, community theater, playing an instrument

• Sports: intramural team sports, swimming, running

• Arts & crafts: knitting, drawing, painting, sculpture

• Games: D&D, video games, LARP

• Indoorsy hobbies: reading, baking, cooking, writing

• Outdoorsy hobbies: hiking, camping, rock climbing, gardening

In summary, hobbies are great, because they remind us that we are human, and help us to be present and enjoy life. If you have a hobby, what is it? If you don’t have a hobby, what would you like to try?

August Reading List

These books might change your friendships

• Platonic by Marisa G Franco, Ph.D.

• Big Friendship by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman

• Sisterhood Heals by Joy Harden Bradford, Ph.D.

• Text Me When You Get Home by Kayleen Schaefer

• Undead Girl Gang by Lily Anderson

• Friendfluence by Carlin Flora

• Sula by Toni Morrison

Find the complete list at Bookshop or on Amazon.

This month’s reading list focuses on friendship! Friendships tend to be underrated in the hierarchy of interpersonal relationships, but friends shape our lives in a myriad of ways. Carlin Flora explores this concept in Friendfluence, which discusses the ways that friends can influence our lives. On the other hand, Marisa Franco’s Platonic takes the approach of how our life experiences can shape our views of friendships, by exploring the link between attachment theory and friendship, using the research in this area.

Sisterhood Heals also translates the research on friendship (and group therapy!) into how our friendships can be healing and tranformative in our lives, and the different roles that we can play in our friend groups. Text Me When You Get Home also explores the power of female friendships, and the uniqueness of these relationships.

Friendships are also complicated. In our fiction picks, Undead Girl Gang and Sula explore different ways that our friendships can be difficult, at different points in our life. Undead Girl Gang asks us how well do we know our friends as teenagers, and what we’d do to save them. Sula takes us into a complicated lifelong female friendship, exploring how friendship endures and morphs even as our lives radically change. Our final pick, Big Friendship, is by the hosts of the iconic friendship podcast Call Your Girlfriend, and Amina and Ann discuss what it takes to navigate a complicated friendship throughout massive shifts in life and career.

Happy reading!

A Few Resume Tips

Earlier this year, I led a resume bootcamp at a conference, which was such a wonderful experience. Here are some of the things that I shared during that bootcamp!

Your resume is about you
This was a wonderful piece of advice that I got from a career counselor when I was a graduate student. What I mean here is, your resume is not about your jobs that you’ve had, it’s a document about you and the things that you’ve accomplished and achieved in those jobs.

Your resume should be tailored
In a different lesson from grad school, I learned how to tailor my resume to each position (or type of position) that I applied to. One way to do this is to edit your resume by using a few job postings that you’re interested in and detailing your experience in order to highlight the common things that they are asking for.

Your resume should make them want to meet you
This is what a resume should do! Use the bullet points under your experience to give some of your best professional wins and their impact on your company or team. If there’s a compelling story from your professional life that you’d love to tell in an interview, find a way to create a bullet point on your resume that alludes to it.

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There’s so much more that I could say about resumes, but many people have already said them on the internet. I hope I’ve given you some new things to think about as you create or update your resume!