Big Sister Advice #2

Starting this year, in addition to the Q & A, I’ll offer you some general words of wisdom, or stuff to think about, as you find helpful.

On Letting Go

Here’s the thing about letting go: it sucks. It hurts to say goodbye to someone or something that has played a big role in your life, and meant a lot to you.

Take your time: the dramatic tendency of our current society will encourage you to make a clean break, block everyone, etc. But maybe that’s not for you in this moment. Maybe you need time to process what this would mean to let you, and to literally and physically take some deep breaths before you take action. This is okay, just don’t let taking your time prevent you from letting go.

Recalibrate: if someone or something has been a big part of your life, it means that you have built a significant portion of your life around it. Part of letting go is recalibrating to adjust your life to the absence of that person or thing. If your entire morning routine is based around a job that you need to leave for whatever reason, take some time to create a new morning routine once you’ve left that position.

Grieve: it’s fine to be in your feelings about this. You can know that letting go is absolutely the right thing for you, but you can still grieve the loss of this relationship. Allow yourself space and time to just be sad — you can even literally set a timer if you’re worried that you’ll end up wallowing.

Sometimes letting go is hard because we’re operating out of a scarcity mindset: we think that nothing or no one will be better than what we currently have. The wonderful thing about life is that there is always more. Someone will love you again. There will be another job. You will find another church that feels right for you. Look forward with hope to what letting go will bring to the future version of you.